Random Stuff..

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save. 

 

~ Mary Oliver ~

 

So...I sit on my IKEA futon in my hot L.A. studio apartment wondering what's next. I'm in such a funny situation at this moment in time, I am now the fashion stylist for  www.young-beautiful.com... a dope fashion magazine! woo-hoo! I'm really proud of myself because honestly I didn't think I would have made it this far and accomplished what i just did...ESPECIALLY considering how broke I am! lol Since I moved here in April of this year my funds have been on "E" as of lately, but surprisingly my spirits remain high. I guess I can contribute that to Joel Olsteen books and Sunday Church services! lol You see, when your doing what you what to do in life, it all  comes down to : 1.) you don't have to be stuck working a boring a** 9-5 and 2.) your doing what you love to do! So everything else is just little bumps in the road that you will eventually get over soon. No biggie. What's funny is most people's fear in life is maybe getting into a horrible car crash, growing old, becoming homeless, drowning...you know crazy things like that but mine is the DREADFUL 9-5!!! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! I just seems like such a waste of time!!! At least for me it is. The boss, the annoying co-workers ( not all but there is ALWAYS that one!) the commute ( I live in L.A...nuff said) the underpayment of your services, the redundant schedule and last but not least  ACTING LIKE YOU REALLY GIVE A F&$K! It kills me slowly inside to sit at a desk for 8 hours everyday for a company that's not even mine! What part of the game is that? Don't get me wrong, I'm not against getting a temp job every blue moon to keep the creditors off your back, but invest my whole life working for  company that won't think twice about laying me off if they need extra money in their company bank account? No, no, and hell no. And if you have to get a 9-5, make SURE you are also putting in just as much time and effort in establishing you OWN business!  My suggestion is if you have a talent, what ever that may be, I suggest you utilize that to it's fullest capacity. Mines is Fashion. I have a fearless approach to fashion, I speak the "language" because fashion has a language of it's own. And that my friend is my ticket. Ticket for what? Ticket to travel the world, work for myself and start my own brand. Freedom. Freedom to to what I want when I want. To buy my mom a house. To influence young minority females and show them "Video vixen" and " Model" aren't the only professions that's out there. I packed my bags, threw my stuff in a U-Haul and hauled ass out of Berkeley ( which I  really do miss sometimes! ) 4 months ago...no job lined up, no friends or family to run to when times got hard. It was just me, myself and I. But I believe God has me here for  a reason..I have a purpose to fulfill. And the crazy thing is I'm actually doing it and surviving! Wherever this journey takes me I hope to share it with all of you, all the ups, downs, good times and bad times, i'm going to document this because i'm pretty sure there's someone out there going through or feeling the same way i'm feeling and hopefully my journey will encourage them to take a personal journey of their own! :)