Hey all!  well it's been two years since I wrote something on this blog...I think it's time to bring it back to life! So much has happened within the last 2 years....i have grown so much. I will PROMISE to keep this blog updated because someone out there NEEDS to hear what I have to say. I have a lot to share with the world, so hopefully this blog will touch someone out there and make them either smile, laugh, or cry....or all three at the same time! lol Hopefully, you will follow me through my journey to my career as a fashion stylist and my relationships that blossom along the way. Every entry will start with a quote ad today's quote is: "Recognize the red flags" This one is for my ladies. Women....value yourself. Don't let any man tell you he is "too busy" or " Don't have enough time" to call you, spend time with you or for you to receive a simple ass text from him. Cheating, disrespecting, not communicating, being selfish, insecure and being immature are grounds for breaking up. You are beautiful...you are worthy...you are smart ( i'm starting to should a little like Abaline from the "The Help" but you know what I mean....) don't let NO MAN'S immaturity and lies get in the way of your self esteem and your dreams. A man should compliment you and ADD value, love and substance to your life, not take away from it. Sometimes love can blind us, pull the wool right over our eyes, but you have to listen to that inner voice, that voice that tells you " there is something not quite right here...danger!...danger!...danger!...." That voice is rarely wrong, God put intuition there for a reason. Use it before it's too late. Don't let him take up anymore of your time. Your time is valuable and precious. Don't let the WRONG guy get in the way of you finding the RIGHT guy.  *side note* if you meet a guy that does NOT have a good relationship with his mother RUNNNNN!!!!! **** I know..i know....you miss him...he was good to you( in the beginning) he's fine...he's successful....yea,yea,yea, but does he TREAT you like you should be treated. That's the key. Say no to games. Say no to disrespect. Say no insecurity. You know how you should be treated....expect nothing less.

Blinders

" Only lames and broke people have have the time to 

            watch  how other people are living." - My neighbor Greg 

Sometimes you just have to put your blinders on....and leave them there until you get to the top. When I was younger I would wonder why race horses had those things on their head that forced them to look in one direction."Momma...what is that thing called on the horsey's head? Does it hurt them?" I would ask. My mom would patiently explain to me "Those are called blinders. It helps the horsey win!" They had no choice but to see what was exactly in front of them...no looking left, no looking right...they could only peer at what lied ahead--- The finish line. Now that I'm older I fully understand the concept of this strategy, and the more I think about it I was hoping I could search on-line and find a human contraption like the sort lol! :

But if you notice, often the horse with the blinders on is also the one who comes in the top 3 of that race. The blinders are put on the horse so it doesn’t get distracted. Take it from me– an ADHD … you must not allow yourself to get distracted. Keep your eyes on the finish line. There will be a lot of distractions but the race is not won by the swift, or the most intelligent, but by the one who posses the most endurance. Maturity is something that I am constantly grateful for, because without it we would all be stuck in the same place, not learning sh**! I remember looking at other people who were doing what I wanted to do and thinking "Why are they making it and I'm not?" "wow! Look at the car their driving!" or " How come they get to do this and that and I'm trying hard, if not harder, than they are?" Little did I know that type of thinking was holding me back. I was SO focused on what others was doing that my efforts where looking very dismal compared to where they were in their career and what they were doing. As soon as I noticed this, I stopped-cold turkey. Comparing your self to others does NOTHING but hold you back. We all have a different path and journey we have to travel, so wondering about the next man( or women) is just a waste of  time. It's distracting and can lower your self-esteem a great deal, not to mention if your not careful it can lead to jealousy and envy ( which looks good on NO ONE!) So do your self a favor if you have this problem-put your blinders on....focus on you and what YOU have to do to get yourself to the next level. Be happy and congratulate your competition on their success. Be friend them and ask them for tips and try to keep them in your circle because it's a know fact that if you hang around winners, eventually that winning pixy dust will rub off on you and you will start acting, talking, and thinking like...yup...you guessed it!  a winner. So when your feeling like everyone around you is prospering and taking off and your still mulling around in the same place,  take a deep breath, say a prayer, put your blinders on and get to work! Before you know it, you too will be standing on the winners podium waving to the crowd, smiling,  gold medal in hand!

Random Stuff..

The Journey

One day you finally knew
what you had to do, and began,
though the voices around you
kept shouting
their bad advice --
though the whole house
began to tremble
and you felt the old tug
at your ankles.
"Mend my life!"
each voice cried.
But you didn't stop.
You knew what you had to do,
though the wind pried
with its stiff fingers
at the very foundations,
though their melancholy
was terrible.
It was already late
enough, and a wild night,
and the road full of fallen
branches and stones.
But little by little,
as you left their voices behind,
the stars began to burn
through the sheets of clouds,
and there was a new voice
which you slowly
recognized as your own,
that kept you company
as you strode deeper and deeper
into the world,
determined to do
the only thing you could do --
determined to save
the only life you could save. 

 

~ Mary Oliver ~

 

So...I sit on my IKEA futon in my hot L.A. studio apartment wondering what's next. I'm in such a funny situation at this moment in time, I am now the fashion stylist for  www.young-beautiful.com... a dope fashion magazine! woo-hoo! I'm really proud of myself because honestly I didn't think I would have made it this far and accomplished what i just did...ESPECIALLY considering how broke I am! lol Since I moved here in April of this year my funds have been on "E" as of lately, but surprisingly my spirits remain high. I guess I can contribute that to Joel Olsteen books and Sunday Church services! lol You see, when your doing what you what to do in life, it all  comes down to : 1.) you don't have to be stuck working a boring a** 9-5 and 2.) your doing what you love to do! So everything else is just little bumps in the road that you will eventually get over soon. No biggie. What's funny is most people's fear in life is maybe getting into a horrible car crash, growing old, becoming homeless, drowning...you know crazy things like that but mine is the DREADFUL 9-5!!! I hate it, I hate it, I hate it! I just seems like such a waste of time!!! At least for me it is. The boss, the annoying co-workers ( not all but there is ALWAYS that one!) the commute ( I live in L.A...nuff said) the underpayment of your services, the redundant schedule and last but not least  ACTING LIKE YOU REALLY GIVE A F&$K! It kills me slowly inside to sit at a desk for 8 hours everyday for a company that's not even mine! What part of the game is that? Don't get me wrong, I'm not against getting a temp job every blue moon to keep the creditors off your back, but invest my whole life working for  company that won't think twice about laying me off if they need extra money in their company bank account? No, no, and hell no. And if you have to get a 9-5, make SURE you are also putting in just as much time and effort in establishing you OWN business!  My suggestion is if you have a talent, what ever that may be, I suggest you utilize that to it's fullest capacity. Mines is Fashion. I have a fearless approach to fashion, I speak the "language" because fashion has a language of it's own. And that my friend is my ticket. Ticket for what? Ticket to travel the world, work for myself and start my own brand. Freedom. Freedom to to what I want when I want. To buy my mom a house. To influence young minority females and show them "Video vixen" and " Model" aren't the only professions that's out there. I packed my bags, threw my stuff in a U-Haul and hauled ass out of Berkeley ( which I  really do miss sometimes! ) 4 months ago...no job lined up, no friends or family to run to when times got hard. It was just me, myself and I. But I believe God has me here for  a reason..I have a purpose to fulfill. And the crazy thing is I'm actually doing it and surviving! Wherever this journey takes me I hope to share it with all of you, all the ups, downs, good times and bad times, i'm going to document this because i'm pretty sure there's someone out there going through or feeling the same way i'm feeling and hopefully my journey will encourage them to take a personal journey of their own! :)